Brexit Stolen Votes


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24 April 2017 Telekom changing my line configuration. No internet or phone till finished & router installed.

This is:

British flag

German flag

Via google
French flag

Via google
Other Languages,
Other services

Business Enquiries / Geschäftliche Anfragen / Pour le Travail

For business enquiries, phone my business number, please
First state you want to pay me Money for Computer Consultancy

English: For business I can speak English, German or very slow French
Deutsch: Ja, für Geschäft, können wir Deutsch reden.
Francais: Oui, pour le travail, je comprend Francais, mais tres lentment, si vous plait !

Other Numbers & Contact Data

ENGLISH + Deutsch/German + Francais/French

Unless you will purchase computer consultancy /
Ausser sie Consultancy kaufen wollen.
Me, my Company my Associates

I am NOT a free help desk !

Keine Um-Sonst Help Desk

Unless you quickly state your intention to pay me Money for computer consultancy ... Rules below apply to phoning me ! - Else I hang up.

Do Not Suppress Caller Identity !

DE: Kein Unter-drucken !

IT: Le telefonate con numero nascosto sono filtrate

If You Suppress Caller ID
  • Sometimes I do not pick up the phone.
    • (The computer also shows which of my numbers you called. the combination indicates if your call is likely a waste).
    • It avoids strangers rabbiting fast in various foreign languages, eg often Germans selling in Bavarian dialect.
    • It avoids Indian accents lieing from criminal call centres, pretending to be Microsoft, when they're recruiting suckers to browse their virus site.
    • It avoids strangers scrounging free help. - Use a free mail list, eg here for FreeBSD.
    • It avoids club acquaintances (`Bekannter') who deliberately suppress ID yet want to consume my time. - Join club mail lists & ask in person when we are both attending events I organise &/or attend.
  • Sometimes I pick Up & Remain Silent Until Caller Speaks
    • It reduces idiots, & cold sellers etc, who repeatedly call my various numbers, sometimes in unknown languages.
    • It avoids those who try by silence to force me to say first who I am, despite they already have the advantage of knowing who they dialled.
    • Friends who have old analogue lines that don't disclose ID are intelligent enough to say eg "Hallo, Fred here" or "Is that ...?" to break silence.
Turn Caller ID On !
My computer shows your name (if known) from number). & can have a different ring tone for anonymous, to indicate if it's worth breaking off/ coming to phone.

First Identify What You Want & Who You Are

Zu Erst: Was Wollen Sie ? - Wollen Sie Mir Zahlen ?

  • Most un-recognised voices in German are phone spammers trying to sell me junk. That makes it difficult to recognise new customers calling me.
    Meist unbekannte Stimmen in Deutsch versuchen mir etwas zu verkaufen, also es ist in ihre eigen besten interesse, entweder English zu sprechen, oder erklaren sie schnell & Klar, welche Consultancy sie wollen kaufen.
  • Depending which phone number you ring from your end, & to which number my end, & time & day in week, & language, I take a guess if you'r yet another waster, or someone I want to talk to. That guess dictates how long before I hang up.
  • Maybe I'll say eg "Hallo" & nothing more & wait.
  • I get too many junk sellers phoning , I hang up in a few seconds.
  • You know who you hoped to call, & what you want.
  • Say what you want & who you are.
  • I don't hold on the line if I suspect another spammer/waster. !
  • . Occasionally callers are too obtuse or arrogant & try to force me to identify my name before they identify their number, name, what they want, & sometimes even their language.
  • I've knows Germans British & other nationals all that daft, I hang up on them.
  • I don't give my name or other info, until I've forced you to state what you want & your name. You have the advantage of me, you already know who you phoned, probably checked my web pages, give me info in parity, or I hang up.
  • Sometimes the clueless ask if my number is ....... , no way I'm answering that, I have 10 numbers, cant check 'em all, & if the call is in German, or worse, Bavarian, I'm certainly not going to reinvert all the inverted doublets of numbers & worse that Germans use, then match that against all 10 of mine !

Do NOT give your name as the first word of the call !

Zu Erst: Was Wollen Sie Kaufen ? Nur Spater: Ihre Name & Firma Name !

  • Make Your words eg "Hello", "Good Morning", "Guten Tag", "Bonjour!"
  • Give me time to realise what language(s) you speak ! & What languages your accent suggests you might also speak & I might also mix in.
  • Do Not say your name & company names as first words in a stream of fast German!
  • I have No Interest & will not remember names, until I hear a Reason to remember !
  • What do you want to buy ?
  • Nearly all callers here in fast German are waster/ spammers, that I dump in seconds.
  • Identify yourself fast as a buyer, not a spammer.
  • Friends & customers I'll happily talk to in German too - but I recogise their voice & incoming call number.
  • Until you tell me you want to buy Computer Concultancy, I assume you'r another spammer wasting my time, & I hang up fast.
  • I spend my day working on complex problems in international industry language: English, not German! I Do not welcome interruptions in German unless you wish to purchase computer consultancy.


Rufen Sie mir an, nur im Englisch , fals sie nicht Computer Consultancy kaufen wollen.

Do not phone in German :
  • Unless you start by saying you will Buy Computer Consultancy
  • Expect me to hang up, fast ! (Most callers in German whose voices I don't recognise, are selling junk or harvesting info).
As your call rings:
  • My computer shows & logs:
    • Name (not number) of any known caller, Or
    • Number of unknown caller, Or
    • "From NotAvailable" if old analogue or withheld
    • Which of my numbers you called, eg: business/ private/ clubs/ spammed from phone book, etc.
  • If caller's number is NotAvailable
    • If a repeat caller, I may just pick up & say "Uh Huh !?" which forces caller to speak,
      • they hate that, which pleases me,
      • until then they know Both who they are & who I am (at least my number), whereas I know Nothing about them.
      • I get their language (often enough not German or English, but some foreigner) If I don't recognise their voice, & they demand to know who I am & they're not offering to purchase computer consultancy, they're wasters & get Dumped.
    • If caller starts in German :
    • If a stranger fails to start by asking to buy Computer Consultancy ....
    • If I hear Fast German from an unrecognised voice,
      • If I suspect a robotised sales queuer: Caller gets classified as: "Another Waster (aka Phone Spammer) to dump": The response varies, sometimes
      • (Sometimes I don't just hang up, I do better: I deliberately give initial answers to robot to engage the queue for human 2nd level response, then leave the phone on desk, occasionally using keys or speech to lock up their sales robot or human, so they can't waste so many other people's time as well).

    • Or I interrupt in English ""Err .. Do you want to buy Computer Consultancy ?" (Which last brought a friendly laugh & response in English from German sales girl), & a friendly & quick agreement we had no need to talk to each other.
    Both techniques worth using smiley face icon as I find having my concentration interrupted by phone, to be sold at in a foreign language. by someone who hides his number, as most offensive, & worth inconveniencing them in return, to the extent, they might note my number as too troublesome to call again.
  • Some clueless club people used to phone me in German, re. English club events & mail lists I help run / organise, who ignored the club's / events, my web pages, & mail list announcements I make are all in English. This page is also to deter such foolishness. (I give a lot of time organising events, & running lists & servers, I dont want to lose more time unpaid, listening in German, explaining & reasoning in German. Those club lists are nearly all for English speakers, so if you want my time unpaid: save me worrying if you'r another local spammer: speak English at least until you get stuck, then we'll switch.)
If you want my time, Start in English, even if we later oscillate between English & German.
He Who Helps, Determines Which Language we start in.

& Alphabet

  • I am English - Ich spreche auch Deutsch - Aber Nur Hoch- Deutsch ! * Nur Für Bezahlender Kunden ! Ich will Kein Bayerisch Hören oder Lernen!
  • Give all you numbers in single digit strings - not German swapped digit pair format. - Bei Nummern, sagen sie einzelne Ziffern, links nach rechts, nicht Paarweise rum-gefummelt !
  • I have the usual English difficulty recognising German pronunciation of individual alphabet letters. I don't recognise umlaut pronunciation at all.
  • Use the International Alphabet (For both German & English).

TIME ZONE - Central Europe, Germany

All Berklix servers can report current time & date.


In Munich, Bavaria, Germany. Central European Time zone. TZ = "GMT+01:00" or "Germany/Berlin". 1 hour ahead of London, England. Same Summer time switch over dates as London. In (northern hemisphere) summer, London is 1 hour ahead of Greenwich Mean Time = UTC, & Munich is 2 hours ahead.

Office Hours

  • NOT available at 08:00 in Munich Germany, Do NOT phone till long after !
  • Not before 09:30 Munich time (Except where it cannot be avoided, eg perhaps from Asia).
  • smiley face icon I work London City (commercial not civil service) office hours eg 09:30 - 18:30 UK (GMT or BST) time. That's 10:30 - 19:30+ in Munich.
  • Early evening calls OK.

Americans & Canadians resident in USA

European Time Zones Are Way Ahead From All American Time Zones !
Realise there is a World out there !
& It's way off from American clocks ! Sure some pay attention, but some don't care. Here's a graphic reminder of the globe:
  Global Position Probably NOT Current,
Click For Real Global Position & Times,

earth orthographic
On the other page with current position, ... Is Europe not on the right ? Has Europe rotated well into the dark ? Is Australia edging into the dawn ? Then do Not phone Europe now ! Email &/or phone tomorrow earlier.

Phone Europe in the American morning,
not at end of American West coast business day!

I may take calls late my end, if motivated, & preferably after prior warning. It might be OK, Phoning late & trying, or by accident & saying eg "Oh is it that late your end, Are you tired ? Should I phone you earlier tomorrow ?" ... But ...

Do NOT Aggressively Phone After Midnight & Demand I Work
Examples of 2 stupid aggressive men who Failed to get what they demanded:

  • A Toronto lawyer who persisted trying to negotiate stupid contract terms after being told it was 2 to 3 AM my end. The Canadian multi-national company he worked for phoned numerous times before & after midnight for non emergencies, The CFO & his lawyer engaged in evil to avoid their company paying our team for work done. We sued & got paid.
  • A Californian Japanese programmer in a public domain project phoned & tried to force me to work immediately (unpaid) even after being told it was ~2 in the morning & I needed to sleep. I never worked with him. He too failed to get what he wanted.

Do Not Call outside European Business Hours
Unless you have already paid me or my company Money

  picture of bank notes
I No Longer Trust Customer Assumptions That The Management Of Their Company Will Automatically Pay For Work Agreed Done - So A Deposit Is Required
  • So I don't work outside European Business Hours till my company receives money.
  • No offence, but some companies are rogues, & a few at management level are dishonest & can not be trusted to stick to a deal & pay, even when a customer engineer signs off on acceptance test, & agrees the work's fine & the bill should be paid.
  • Experience: Sued & won 2 debts, + dealt with 3 other attempted rip offs in 28 years.
  • Companies usually pay their employees through hard times, as it's harder to evade paying employees than is to evade & / or delay paying external service providers So employee project managers etc may not always know if their company is short of cash.
  • Even less can I predict if some customer top manager will perceive business circumstances change, & an order he signed last week may look less beneficial now, so a top manager may provoke a problem, as an excuse to terminate contract, & pose to his fellow executives, as tough, beating up a service provider he ordered from the week before.
  • Before you phone me to work outside European Business Hours please first check your company has paid my company
  • If your company hasn't paid my company yet
    • Perhaps because my company hasn't issued a bill yet,
    • Get your company to issue my company an advance on services, some money Up Front (possibly in Escrow)
    • I & my company wont work out of hours for your company on unsecured credit.
    • Your company must front money or security.
    • A signed contract is No security, just an aggravating obligation on both sides, with option to litigate to wait years for money. We don't work for that.
    • If you want computer consultancy outside European business hours, prior to your company paying in to our account, get your local representative to go to your bank or their bank or cash machine (ATM) in Europe, & draw substantial cash or get a bankers draft issued, (Not a cheque drawn on your company account, & not a transfer that can be revoked).

Apologies For Lack Of Trust

  • Experience shows managers of some customers can not be trusted.
  • Only extremely urgent & important technical service problems might interest me in the middle of the night, (eg multiple server failure),
  • Only if you have also already paid my company,
  • Only if first payment has already been received & verified cleared funds by my company's bank.


  Global Position Probably NOT Current,
Click For Real Global Position & Times,

earth orthographic
  • Make sure your browser & gateway are not caching old pages with old times! (To check, click reload a few times & see seconds increase).
  • A "CEST" acronym means Central European Summer Time.

NO CALL WAITING (`Kein Anklopfen')

Do Not Put Me On Hold !

Put me on `hold' for more than 5 or 10 seconds , & I'll hang up on you. I will not call or mail you back, nor think further what we were talking about; Clearly you thought it was un-important, so your problem.

I Will Not Put You On Hold

If I hear a call ringing signal my end while talking to you: I will glance at the display to see name of person calling, I will Not put you on hold to talk to them, though I may arrange to speak to you later, if eg the other caller might be mobile, & you might be re-callable after.

CONSIDER FACE TO FACE Instead. It May Be More Efficient ?


Number below obscured (*) to disrupt spammers.
_a_+_b_4_c_9__d__8_ e_ 9__f__2_ g__6_ h_0_i_ 2_j_ 3_k_2_ l_7_m_ 6_ n_
Higher priority phone numbers are available once your company has made first payment to my company.

Business enquiries welcome. The number is a normal ones, Not an expensive support tarif, Phone company does not pay owner a rebate when people phone.

Alphabet For when German & English speakers confuse each other with pronunciation ;-)

(*) Maybe latter I might obscure my number with a better technique, using eg a: Captcha, but spam robots have already cracked some, & humans do not like them, so it seems unlikely.

Call Rates & Call Back

I am on a normal (non premium, non {mobile=cell=handy} line.
If business just call me. If you'r a friend Not calling from a premium rate or {mobile=cell=handy}, I can call you back if you remind me (per flat rate of Deutsche Telekom "CountryFlat(1.4)" (Tarif price 3.31 + mwst = 3.94 Euro/month at March 2011, for "Die Flatrate fürs benachbarte Ausland, USA, Kanada, Australien und Westeuropa"), to any normal terrestial (non premium, non mobile) in
America = USA, Andorra, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, France, Germany, Great Britain inc Isle of Man & Channel islands), Greece, Ireland, Italy, Lichtenstein, Luxembourg, Monaco, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, San Marino, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Czech Republik (Tschechien), Vatican City.

DTkom link to "Übersicht" = over view
DTkom link to "Tarriftabelle" = Tarif table Shows:

  • USA & Canada mobiles as 0, yet Britain & Austria as 28 cents/min. !
  • Doesn't list Deutschland, which would have been useful to see mobile rates to Tkom's & competitive nets, (info removed to some other page as not foreign I suppose).
  • Not sure about calls to premium rate numbers in other countries eg UK 08 "You have just been serviced ;-)" numbers.

Email, Mobile, Sms & Fax Numbers

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