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GEIST : Grand English speaking International other Stammtisch,
DMF : Deutsch Mit Feinden,
GEA : German Elderly Association

A [grim] fairy story inspired by clubs we know ;-)

Copyright Julian Stacey, Munich, 2010 - 2020

Once upon a time, a long Long time ago ... there was a club called GEA = German English Association... It was young, lively, & Very successful, & they all met in a cellar ...
  • Full of mainly youngish English speaking engineer chaps, sinking beers after a hard week & mainly German girl students practising their English, they got on famously, & all brought more friends.
  • Lots of beer got sold; parties & weekend trips got arranged, mountains got climbed & skied, lakes got sailed. Some even married each other. In fact ... but that's a story over another beer ;-)
  • The Stammtisch cellar was so full you couldn't even get down the stairs !
    • Sometimes they sneaked down the side stairs direct to the bar to order a beer before stopping to speak to friends... Cos otherwise it took 30 thirsty minutes from the 6th step on the main staircase, the few yards to the bar.
    • The bar was manned by 2. occasionally 3 very busy quite attractive bar maids often in Dirndls - (not one very bored bar man with virtually no customers later).
    Aside:
    Numerous GEA girls of the time came from & knew SDI as Sprache Dolmetscher Institut Muenchen, where an English teacher told them about the GEA. While for the boys, SDI meant (formally) Strategic Defense Initiative, & (colloquially) Star Wars Initiative (A high tech expensive project of Ronnie Ray Gun from the big land the far side of a big pond.)

    The Boom Years passed ... Ronnie Ray Gun across the big Pond declared a "Peace Dividend" (for tax payers & society, not for Engineers ;-) which tidal wave swept a whole lot of engineers out of Munich, who used to be well paid to design things with sharp front ends that could whiz through the air incredibly fast & go Bang! ;-)

    They didn't come any more, nor their girl friends. The GEA shrank.

    More Time Passed ... Some dinosaurs fossilised but stayed, Some dinosaurs passed on. ... Then ... Surprise! ... A new dinosaur joined, & recruited more pre-aged older dinosaurs for company, & forced words "Young thinking" off the programme !

    (Ageing was partly intrinsic, & partly imposed & accelerated by one `Pushy' members who forced the words "Young Thinking" off the programme despite 60% + against removal. ( Guess who "Pushy" was, who shoved that through. A clue )

    The GEA's Cellar Bar Stammtisch got labelled by one disappointed young German girl (one of many disappointed a prospective new members - leaving permanently after one visit) as a " Rentner Verein".

    The GEA struggled on, ... & still had some lively activities, including Skiing & Walking etc, (even though the Stammtisch was an emptying ghost of its vibrant past).

Then one day a silly old devil (GEA had reprobates to spare ;-) started massive ongoing damage to the GEA, increasing already copious existing internal tensions:
`Mike Cock' first created :

"DMF - Deutsch Mit Feinden"

DMF didn't seem Friendly, as it parasiticly used the same venue as GEA Stammtisch venue, but arrived first, drew on those GEA who could also speak German, & scared off younger newcomers &/ or those looking to speak English at the GEA's Stammtisch.

Mike Cock's militant DMF attitude to force innocent GEA Stammtisch early comers to speak German, even if they couldn't, (& could for example only speak eg English, Swedish & Arabic etc), did a hatchet job on the GEA, deterring new English speaking recruits to GEA.

Deutsch Mit Feinden, got to be recognised as a parasite on the GEA, & Mike Cock got called the Black Spider for pouncing on GEA newcomers.

He built more protective camouflage, while he continued to poach on the GEA, he created a parallel disguise to pretend there were also lots of English speaking people with his DMF, he created:

GEIST = Grand English speaking International other Stammtisch" ;-)

( ... Grand name; Shame about the reality. ;-) )

Later Mike Cock `graciously' announced to his `Friends'

He would allow GEA people to individually return to their old venue he'd taken over, provided GEA could not operate under its own name anymore, & that 3 GEA people: {the Chair of the GEA committee , + The guy who'd run the parties the last 20 years os so , + She'd who'd done the bonfire tent for decades }, were all banned.

(A tellingly eclectic Ban list of people who didn't agree on lots of other things, but all agreed with many others, that DMF was probably the worst thing ever to to damage the GEA.

& They All Lived Happily Ever After ... Or did they ?

In Reality

  • The GEA did not return to boost DMF's lack of people & lack of single remaining bar man's turnover/ trade.
  • Weekly GEA Stammtisch died, remnants meet once a month.
  • DMF & GEIST were under constant threat of closure from barman with insufficient turnover.
  • GEA dinosaurs who revolted, & killed GEA democracy, & degraded GEA to German Elderly Association, became so so desperate they rehabilitated Mike Cock, (the one guy they & others had previously all agreed was the most troublesome), & he starred filling out the GEA programme with Deutsch Mit Feinden events.
  • Mike Cock, showing his ingratitude to the full, continued to parasitise GEA: was last heard refusing to move to let the GEA tent woman do announcements.
  • Most English speakers & many Germans legged it from GEA:
  • Plenty of lively International speakers of English still in the Beer Gardeners Group ( inside in winter, every week in a new place).
  • Many are also on activities like walking & skiing & mail lists
  • Some left Munich
  • Some went to other groups such as ToyTown
  • Some Beer Gardeners further split,
  • There was a global recession (or was that out of chronological order ? & some foreign ie English speaking Engineers again left Munich
  • Some people got older, & less people skied & did water sports
  • Numerous still hiked & Biked
  • Then there was Brexit, (harder for new Brits to find employment in Munich
  • All reducing total number of English speakers in Munich, (but there's still quite a lot @ 2020-08: Almost 5,000 Brits + 6,647 Americans etc )
  • Then Corona hit
  • But that's a whole lot of of other stories, yours to hear over a beer best at at a Beer Gardeners, but possible also at some other events announced on a subset of these lists

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